Six Watches, Six Stories

I have always had a thing about watches. In preparation for this post, I talked to people and nearly everyone had a watch story. The subject stirred up more emotion than any material object I’ve written about. 

Watches are making a comeback. It’s part of that retro move. Another attempt to free humankind from the tether of the phone. Most of us check the time with our cell phone. I check the time on my phone even when I am wearing a watch – it’s a habit. 

Enter the hybrid beasts, the Apple Watch and other smartwatches. Sales on these watches are rising and expected to grow. I’m an early adopter with a watch fetish but do not own one. People say they are awesome but I doubt they generate the love we have for the not-so-smart watch. They don’t carry the emotional, historical heft of an older, often analog, wristwatch. It’s all good. 

Jewelry was included in my decluttering project. I only kept things that have a good story, without regard to how much they are worth. I had a drawer full of dead watches. I donated all of my old Swatch watches – how I loved those once! Fossils and random watches made their way to Goodwill. 

I am down to six watches – only the ones that bring me joy.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up; The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

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Looking Back on October. Have a Hopeful Weekend!

Sharing vignettes from October, as we bid it farewell.

My kitchen packed with my favorite fruits and veggies, at their peak busting with colour –

 

Some relatively inspirational fortune cookies received the other night:

 

 

My dad, born in 1920, attending the community vigil for victims of Pittsburgh:

 

If I had a nickel for everyone who asked me about CBD. It really is everywhere. Read this article.

Eye-catching billboard in NYC (trust me, your vagina does just fine without a momwasher)

 

Just as I was saying that I don’t know any men that knit, I see this at Knitty City on the Upper West side in Manhattan.

 

When your daughter sends us yarn from Australia to help her crochet her own chuppah, you realize the world can be a small village. You also realize you must have done something right.

 

How true this is. What keeps us up at night.

I’m loving Bodyguard on Netflix. Suspenseful and sexy as hell. You’re hooked from episode 1.

 

And a note to self. Don’t freak out if people don’t comment!

November, bring it on! A Rodgers cookie is a good start 👍 Thank you Eva⭐︎

 

 

Put These Things Away

My dad doesn’t miss an episode of Steven Colbert. When Lady Gaga talked about putting traumatic memories in a box, he immediately nodded in agreement. “If i didn’t put these things away, I couldn’t possibly lead a normal life,” my dad said. My dad is a 98-year-old Holocaust survivor. 

Every so often, something will trigger a reaction that pokes a hole in that box, that blurs the confines of the compartment. For my dad, it is the Jewish holidays, Yom Kippur in particular. The depression hits him so hard on those days. After this year in synagogue I told him no more. He can listen to Kol Nidre online. Enough. I see how it takes a toll. 

Brain changes after trauma are real and lasting. The hippocampus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex are hardest hit by a traumatic event.  The amygdala is particularly sensitive to trauma – it stores the memory in little pieces – rather than a full story – made of visual images, smells, sounds, tastes or touch. Trauma is also associated with changes in brain neurotransmitters like cortisol and norepinephrine, the “fight or flight” response.

Physical and psychological trauma can affect memory. Memory suppression is a natural survival mechanism humans develop to protect themselves from psychological damage. 

Diagnosis of PTSD requires exposure to an event that involves death or threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury or threatened sexual violation. Exposure can be directly to you or you may have been a witness or heard about this event happening to someone you are close to. In my clinical work I have found that symptoms of PTSD can arise from events that are in the realm of usual human experience such as loss, divorce, failure, rejection and bullying. 

Dr. Blasey Ford’s presentation is classic for a victim of trauma. If she walked into my office, I would have no diagnostic dilemma. The memory lapses are expected. The shame, panic, fear and avoidance are there. Her relationships, work and education were impacted by it. Seeing the perpetrator triggered her symptoms and in good conscience she had to speak up. Her ambivalence was clear – her life will never be the same. This took great courage. Yet she was ignored by men and women with personal agendas. 

This nomination is a symptom of a patriarchal society where a woman’s word doesn’t carry the weight of a man’s. Where a man’s tears are somewhat more believable because women are expected to cry. 

Everybody knows sexual assault has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power. 

WASHINGTON, DC – SEPTEMBER 27: Christine Blasey Ford swears in at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing in the Dirksen Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill September 27, 2018 in Washington, DC. A professor at Palo Alto University and a research psychologist at the Stanford University School of Medicine, Ford has accused Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her during a party in 1982 when they were high school students in suburban Maryland. (Photo by Melina Mara-Pool/Getty Images)

The Living Room

Did you have a room in your house you weren’t allowed in because it was too fancy?

Do you still have one?

When we were kids this same living room was off limits. Now it looks like this:

The doctor is in!

This is your chance to ask me whatever is on your mind. Sex, love, relationships, depression, panic, memory loss, travel, food, survivorship, and football. Anonymity guaranteed!

ASK ME ANYTHING

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