THE WEEKEND IS HERE

A rainy cold weekend is forecast for us but remember, there is no bad weather, only bad gear!

Some weekend reading/watching suggestions:

Are Men With Beards More Desirable?

The many reasons that people are having less sex

Isdal Woman: The mystery death haunting Norway for 46 years and ‘Major breakthrough’ in Norway’s 46-year-old Isdal women mystery

Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage?

I’ve been loving Shetland, a BBC crime drama set in the Scottish islands. The wild, scraggly coast, the eccentric people…it’s a fascinating series. Some call it Celtic Noir. You’ll want to go there.

Louis C.K. 2017 is on Netflix. He’s looking more dapper these days and is as funny as ever. Tackles everything controversial.

What are you up to?

 

The Winter Spring Romance

Joie De Vivre!

When I heard about the triumph of France’s new president Emmanuel Macron I was thrilled, because while I know very little about French politics, one thing I knew was that I did not want Le Pen. Then I set out to learn more about Macron and I was struck by the obsession with his marriage. “Their love story fascinates many people and makes others dream,” stated Laurence Pieau in French Closer magazine. The Winter-Spring romance aka the May-December romance needs further investigation.
Those expressions refer to couples with large age discrepancies. One is in their prime the spring, May, fresh and new. The other is winter, December, withering and closer to the end than the beginning. When these relationships involve an older man and a younger woman everyone nods and thinks that makes sense. Why is it so different when the woman is the older one?
Macron’s marriage is one such union. They met when he was 15 and she was a 39-year-old married woman, his drama teacher. He was totally smitten. His parents tried to separate them by sending him away to Paris but their love was stronger than any ban and they got married in 2007. Today he is 39 and Brigitte is 64. He is the President-elect of France. Brigitte is actively involved as a partner, not eye-candy. They are equals in this venture. She is neither a trophy wife nor a surrogate mother figure.
There are so many things I love about this story. How this man waited, did not compromise and pursued the woman of his dreams. How she married her man, after first presenting this lovingly to her children. This love affair brings the invisible woman out into the open. I can’t believe this is such a big deal in this day and age. I agree with Macron who says misogyny is driving the public’s fascination with his older partner. This relationship opens us up to the far flung possibilities of romantic relationships. It is the absence of typical roles, true partnership, genuine respect and a big fuck you to those who think age is bad.
This is the most refreshing news I’ve heard in a long time. This story has it all – passion, forbidden fruit, love, power, money, success and a new dawn for France and all fans of older women.

Don’t Give Up on Sex

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs was first published in 1943. He based his research on observations of rhesus monkeys at the University of Wisconsin. He established that the most basic physiological needs are the solid platform from which one can reach higher goals. Without satisfying basic needs of food, drink, sex, air and sleep, we are unable to move towards self actualization. This does not change as we age. 

As a psychiatrist, I have noted that while we take care of eating and drinking pretty well, sex is often given up, relegated to the young. Relationships are in mayhem because of it. One partner may need it to feel safe and secure, while the other feels like if it never happens for the rest of life, that would be just fine. 

I would like to make a case for the fact that giving up on a sex life- in whatever form you see it- is not a wise option, especially as we age. I’m focusing on the medicine side of Love + Medicine in this post. Putting on my white coat.

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The Men’s Outerwear Conundrum

Let’s explore the world of men’s outerwear.

You can tell when a guy walks in a room and is looking good and more importantly, feeling comfortable.

As we transition from Winter to Spring, I consulted with a few men about the importance of mens outerwear. Most agreed there is a bit of a conundrum in that shopping is still somewhat perceived as a “female activity”. It also may seem like an “unnecessary luxury”. One argued that there is no conundrum whatsoever- that “the world of men’s outerwear is at a perfect place right now”.

Let’s see about that.

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