7 FOOLPROOF TIPS FOR FALL 2019

The days are shorter, the temperatures are dropping. This is a time of transition both mentally and physically. Some love it, others are less enthusiastic. Here are some tips to help all of us stay present in the moment and accept the changes in this astounding universe. Let’s start with the one everyone loves to hate…

1.Get a flu shot. Get a flu shot. Get a flu shot. I know, you’ve heard me say this before but I need to repeat. The flu makes you feel totally miserable. It can also kill you. Millennials, are you listening? If you want to hang out with the most interesting people on the planet like older adults, babies, sick people and pregnant women you better get the shot. There are no medically proven dangers. Don’t listen to the pseudoscience fear-mongers.

2. Start a Vitamin D supplement. Even if you are outside a lot, you are too covered up to absorb the rays of the sun. Low vitamin D is linked to seasonal affective disorder, muscle and bone loss and Type 2 diabetes. Starting in October, I take 5000 IU’s of D3 based on my doctor’s recommendation after a blood test.

3. Invest in cold weather gear. This does not have to be expensive – I got a packable down jackets from Costco- but go for quality. And they should look good. You want to be able to hike and then meet a friend for dinner and look as classy as ever without going home to change. Remember there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear!

4. Work on your mindset. Your body is highly adaptable, it’s your mind that is less flexible. The obsession with the weather here in Wisconsin is absolutely insane. If you expect five miserable cold months, that is exactly what you will get. Get psyched for cozy clothing, hot fires, and winter sports. Embrace the lovely quiet and stillness of the winter. Read and write more.

5. Work out at home. There are times when you just won’t be up for getting dressed and driving to the gym. That’s ok! This is an opportunity to get out of your exercise rut and try something different. Believe it or not, I’ve started hula hooping again. Hula hooped through halftime of last nights football game! Many of my readers are fans of Adriene. She has easy to follow yoga videos for all levels. The enviable Michelle Obama reveals her workout secrets in this article. Then there is RBG’s workout for the rest of us.

6. Ignore the carbohydrate cravings. They can be overwhelming. Start with a protein rich breakfast – avocado, cottage cheese, eggs, nuts. Winter vegetables are particularly rich in antioxidants and color. Squash, leeks, garlic, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, pumpkin and kale are filling when simply prepared and delicately seasoned. My homegrown cauliflower plants are just starting to bloom. Salmon and other fatty fish remain essential for the gut and skin. Hydration is harder to maintain but should be a habit by now.

7. Laughter, friends and healthy sex are the most festive ways to raise those serotonin and dopamine levels. This is a Love and Medicine four- season recommendation 💜.

The Lifeguard

In honor of the end of summer, here is a little short story about summer love.

The Mediterranean sea is unusually rough. The waves vigorously clap the sand, sending a salty mist into the ocean breeze. The white sand, like sifted flour, surrenders to the harsh waves, and is enslaved by the powerful water. Sailboats in the distance struggle their way toward the horizon. Topless women casually soak up the sun’s rays. Conversations and reading are light, as the scenery takes precedence.

She never tires of watching him as he scans the crowded beach. His eyes alert as he concentrates, to discern any hint of danger amid the playful sounds resonating from the water. Her eyes follow his large footprints sinking in and molding the sand. She marvels at his bronzed muscular calves laboring under his broad, sculpted torso. How gracefully he strolls along the beach, for such a large mountain of a man.

Every few minutes, without a pattern, he breaks his intense focus on the surf and glances back at her. Aware of the stirring she provokes, he fights the distraction and his gaze returns to the water, back to his duty.

A quickening of her breath and a flash of warmth envelop her body each time their eyes meet. Images of previous meetings bring a rosy tinge to her cheeks. Her body is aching, alert, wanting. She lusts for the physical closeness, so different from the touch she is familiar with at home. She craves the full weight of his body on hers, allowing her to feel small and protected.

She is suddenly ashamed. Her actions and their unspoken implications flood her mind, trap her and suffocate her. A revolting taste of guilt fills her mouth and her body grows limp. A glance from him reins her in and she allows herself once again to feel and not to think. She chooses expansion over contraction, upheaval over order, and freedom over settling.

When the crowd thins out and darkness creeps in, she carefully climbs the steep steps to the lifeguard station, clutching her sarong tightly. It feels like a treehouse -secluded and private. It is their sacred space. When the beach is clear he joins her, carrying two small glasses of Arak. Their lovemaking is slow and deliberate. The air swells with the scent of sex, salt, sweat, anise, and desire.

Ask Dr. Annie K: How Mental Health Can Affect Relationships

 

I’ve (34M) been with my girlfriend (40F) for 3.5 years and very much do still love her. I suffer from severe anxiety and PTSD but have been active in therapy for well over 15 years. My girlfriend suffers from BPD or bipolar (hasn’t been fully diagnosed yet) and unlike myself, is just starting to go through therapy and seeing a psychiatrist as well. I love her to absolute death but she’s become a very difficult person to be in a relationship with and have it not be a miserable ride.

She’ll pin me down for 2+ hours trying to explain and get me to side with some of her destructive relationship behavior. It’s very exhausting and it’s hurting our relationship. I try to give advice, but it usually doesn’t get absorbed or even listened to at all. I don’t look forward to seeing her anymore and I hate that feeling but I’m not sure how or if I can get back to the excitement of being around her again.

What do I do? Establish that we need to take a break? Break up completely? Toughen the heck up and quit being a wuss? I’m at a complete loss because even though we love each other, being her boyfriend while she’s in this state is bringing the most unhappiness I’ve ever felt in my life…

Sincerely,
A guy stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Love+Medicine

Dear Guy,

Thank you for consulting me. It is always difficult to assess the entire picture when having only one side of the story but I will offer my observations.

I am sincerely happy to hear about your own personal progress with your anxiety. You are clearly invested in treating your illness and realize how valuable it is to stay in therapy. You do not want your illness to prevent you from having a healthy, loving relationship.

If you read your letter to yourself again, you will see that the answers are there. You are clearly in love with this woman. Yet you describe yourself as experiencing “the most unhappiness I’ve ever felt in my life.”

This is understandable. Anyone who has a relationship with someone suffering from bipolar disorder knows the challenges. Your girlfriend is just now starting the healing process. It can take time to reach stability.

In the meantime, you are unhappy and this can impact your own mental stability. Giving the relationship a break may be the way to go for both sides. Your partner needs time to get healthy.

You would not be splitting because she has mental health issues. You would do it because you are miserable right now and appropriately concerned about the future.

After a period apart, you can both reassess how you are feeling. A couples counselor can be helpful particularly when confronting painful emotions – especially when facing the possibility of an end of your relationship.

Magic Dust & Artichokes

When my year of no shopping ended, like a prisoner released from captivity, I couldn’t wait to bust out and buy something. I fell right into the trap! What a sucker. You wouldn’t believe what my first purchase was: Dust. I did not know that Gwyneth Paltrow touted it in her painfully misguided bullshit celebrity retail outlet called Goop. I read about it on a blog I once respected, called Cup Of Jo. There was one line…

“Psst, my friend says this …really works,”

…with a handy hyperlink directly to the Nordstrom website. For $39 I was the proud owner of a tiny jar. My partner just heard me reading this aloud and mumbled, “That useless shit was $39”?

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