Don’t Give Up on Sex

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs was first published in 1943. He based his research on observations of rhesus monkeys at the University of Wisconsin. He established that the most basic physiological needs are the solid platform from which one can reach higher goals. Without satisfying basic needs of food, drink, sex, air and sleep, we are unable to move towards self actualization. This does not change as we age. 

As a psychiatrist, I have noted that while we take care of eating and drinking pretty well, sex is often given up, relegated to the young. Relationships are in mayhem because of it. One partner may need it to feel safe and secure, while the other feels like if it never happens for the rest of life, that would be just fine. 

I would like to make a case for the fact that giving up on a sex life- in whatever form you see it- is not a wise option, especially as we age. I’m focusing on the medicine side of Love + Medicine in this post. Putting on my white coat.

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The Men’s Outerwear Conundrum

Let’s explore the world of men’s outerwear.

You can tell when a guy walks in a room and is looking good and more importantly, feeling comfortable.

As we transition from Winter to Spring, I consulted with a few men about the importance of mens outerwear. Most agreed there is a bit of a conundrum in that shopping is still somewhat perceived as a “female activity”. It also may seem like an “unnecessary luxury”. One argued that there is no conundrum whatsoever- that “the world of men’s outerwear is at a perfect place right now”.

Let’s see about that.

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Things I’ve Learned This Week


I timed my teeth brushing and was way under the recommended 2 minutes. Time yourself.

I was told by the advisor for the Brain/Gain program – a large campaign to bring scientists back to Israel – that my “age may be a problem” in finding employment.

Studying for the Geriatric Psychiatry boards is tedious and most likely useless.

I can eat sardines for dinner and be perfectly happy.

Even some of my closest friends don’t read my blog.

My hand surgeon can cure things – my carpal tunnel symptoms have disappeared since the surgery – unlike psychiatrists who can barely cure anything. If only we could treat anxiety and depression as easily.

The last season of Girls (HBO) is brilliant.

Bahá’í New Years was March 20-21.

10 Reasons to Visit Japan (that you won’t find in the guide book…)

1. Bathrooms

Once you leave home, finding a bathroom can be a challenge. In Japan, they are everywhere and are taken to a whole new level. Even in gas stations toilets have heated seats and music for privacy, and most of them will give you a wash and dry also.

2. Coffee shops

Dark and quiet and classy. You can sit there for hours and no one cares. Today I had a great latte, a nap, and plum liquor with soda on the rocks. Check out Sowgen and Cafe Bibliotec Hello.

3. Vending machines

When is the last time you saw beer in a vending machine? And quality coffee, in cans, that come out hot!

4. Baskets

A place to throw your stuff when you sit at a cafe or bar. Your hat, jacket, scarf. In Japan everything has its place.

5. Made for sharing.

Food is bite-sized and communal.

6. Ben Fiddich

The coolest bar I have ever been to. 1 Chome-13-7 Nishishinjuku, Shinjuku-ku. 9th floor. Tokyo.

7. Fruit sandwiches

Strawberry shortcake in a sandwich form for breakfast.

8. Cooking Classes

Whenever I travel I like to take a cooking class. This one was one of my favorites. Everybody prepared their own Bento box. This is the one –

9. Recycling

Japanese are serious about recycling. Not only is there no litter on the street, garbage cans are scarce and people bring their trash home. That’s how much they care.

10. It’s the perfect meeting spot.

If you go off season (steer clear of cherry blossom time and vacations), the airfare is reasonable, considering the distance. You can fly nonstop from most continents.

There is one big detraction I must mention. Although smoking is banned on the streets, it is allowed in bars, restaurants, schools and hospitals 😱 But that should not stop you from visiting this phenomenal place full of history, charm, Zen and some of the most delightful people you’ll ever meet. 

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