Considering the circumstances, do you feel the best you could possibly be feeling?

Every day while locked in hotel quarantine, an Australian government social worker called me and posed that question. I thought it was a clever way to ask and it gave me pause to really think about how I was doing. When I answered yes, I meant it. Considering the circumstances I was feeling the best I could.

What about now?

After all the years of crying wolf, it actually happened. It would be so easy to curl up in a ball and cry thinking about what happened this week to women and men in the United States. It’s that moment when you realize it is all about control and not about care. Just the thought of Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh making decisions about women’s rights is sickening.

I worked hard for reproductive freedom and cannot imagine life without the ability to choose.

This is the time we enter the bargaining phase of grief, which follows anger and denial. The reaction to vulnerability and helplessness is to attempt to regain control. If you are looking for a place to start, try

Today I walked to the park wearing a tee shirt that read Woman Up. I hadn’t consciously chosen that shirt. Every single person I passed made a supportive comment or gave me a thumbs up. We allied for a brief moment.  I felt the connection with strangers, known as weak ties that I had missed for a long time. Somehow, in a small way, it gave me hope.

I’ll make my signature American flag cake????. Our annual fourth of July party will go on as planned.

Fireworks this year will be loud, bombastic, and go on way too long. It’s the American way. But this year they will ring more hollow than ever.

Get another passport.


 I always say this, not just when times are rough. Dig into your ancestry – another action I advise on a regular basis – to find a connection to another country. It may be easier than you think. Even if you never use the second passport, it is reassuring to know it is there. Maybe your kids or grandkids will benefit at some point in their lives.

The more options, the better.