PLATONIC LOVE

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Let’s talk about platonic love. A platonic relationship is one in which people share a close bond but do not have a sexual relationship.

I have many dynamic, complex, wonderful relationships with male friends. Few of my friends have a close connection with someone of the opposite sex who is not their lover or spouse. Some people think it’s not possible.

This relationship is 100% platonic and always has been.

My father met my friend first, a new neighbor that moved in a few houses down. My dad said ” Anne, you have to meet this lovely guy who just moved in. You’re going to love him”. And he was right. The truth is he is a likable guy. He’s smart, talented, witty. He’s Irish, people love that – the swearing, the accent. That represents only a fraction of who he is. I was bald when we met. We started our friendship with a fierce game of ping pong. It has grown into one of the most valuable relationships in my life.

With my Jewish/Israeli background and his Irish upbringing, we are able to appreciate the similarities of our cultures. The Irish and the Jews share a past of relentless oppression. We have our own lands rich with music, literature and art. Having  traveled the world we possess a sense of cynicism about America. We live in Milwaukee but both of us know this wouldn’t be our first choice.

We’ve struggled together through major life crises – divorce, serious illness, trauma and aging parents. On a group trip to Ireland someone commented that he mollycoddles me :-). I can be vulnerable with him like with no one else.

We encourage each other to read, write, and do more yoga. He recognizes when he hears the “small, scared Anne” talking – when I am overwhelmed with fear, self doubt and insecurity. He calls me on it when I don’t show “generosity of spirit” to someone I may have hurt.

Society can’t accept that two people of the opposite sex can spend time together and feel love without any trace of sexual tension. It is not only possible, it is desirable.  It is a shame that people miss out on this because of what people may think. A partner who doesn’t allow it is a mega red flag, Ridiculous. The more relationships we have that enrich and nourish us, the better. It’s all a matter of who you are fortunate enough to meet and connect with in this world.

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